


Falling Rain

by SilverRowan



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Drowning, Got a bit carried away, JayRoy Weekend, JayRoy weekend 2020, Lots of similes and metaphors, M/M, Merfolk AU, Pirates, Sort Of, batfam as pirates, merman!roy Harper, no happy ending, pirate!jason todd, sorry :(
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24928762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverRowan/pseuds/SilverRowan
Summary: Falling was such an easy thing to do.————Day 1 of JayRoy weekend 2020 prompt: merfolk & animal transformation.
Relationships: Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne
Comments: 5
Kudos: 25





	Falling Rain

**Author's Note:**

> This got longer than I wanted so I ended up straying from my original ending plan. Might add a second chapter once JayRoy weekend is over but it depends.

Falling for the young man had been easy. Roy had watched him from the safe depths of the water many a time as he went about his day, helping the crew or rather, from what Roy had observed, his family. He’d heard tales of his kind, the kind that could walk on land but instead chose to sail the sea, the kind that ruthlessly killed to defend what was theirs, the kind that was fearfully respectful of the merfolk that ruled the waters they sailed on; pirates— they fascinated Roy. The idea that a being would choose to leave all that they understood, all that was safe, to live at the mercy of the sea was something that excited him. For him, the water was a friend, a shield, it worked with him, allowed him to breathe, to swim, but for them? For them it was a howling beast that had taken down so many ships, had swept away so many lives right in front of Roy’s eyes. And still the pirates remained. The bravery of it all. Of course the man was not the only pirate aboard the ship, many people came and went, the crew constantly losing and gaining men each time the ship docked. It seemed some could only favour the sea for so long, would run back to their element, to their normalcy once given the chance. Other people however, would run in the opposite direction, run towards adventure and danger and the terrifying unknown. Other people like the man and his family. They were the only part of the crew that never changed: the captain of the ship, his father, the first mate, his brother, the man, his two younger brothers and his sister— Roy had never seen a ship with a woman on it until he found this one. Pirates, he had learned, were a superstitious lot and feared women on ships as much as they feared Roy’s kind. And even though the man's family had proven many a time that they were all to be feared, that they were all to be respected— even though they all were beautiful and exciting and fascinating, it was this specific man that Roy had fallen in love with. 

It was foolish he knew. His kind, merfolk kind were not meant to love pirates, instead pirates were meant to love _them_. Pirates were meant to be enchanted by their deadly songs and their sharp, smiling teeth. Pirates were meant to fear merfolk’s beauty, fear how their eyes held galaxies of want and desire in them, how their silky skin was only a ploy to hide their piercing claws and unrivalled strength. Merfolk were not meant to love pirates, no, they were meant to prey on them. 

Roy was never one to follow the crowd.

Roy could not pinpoint what exactly it was about the man or, _Jay_ as he had heard bellowed into the wind by a fuming captain so many times, that had entrapped him. Maybe it was because Jay’s rage reminded Roy so deeply of the sea. How his laugh sounded like stormy winds as he took down his foe. How his punches were cruel and wild, raining down on those who insulted him like murderous waves rising up only to come crashing down, ripping a ship to shreds, swallowing all life whole. How the gleam of his sword, tainted red by those who had wronged him was like beautiful lightning slicing through angry clouds. Or perhaps it was the way he fiercely protected his siblings just like the water that had protected Roy all his life. The way he would valiantly throw himself in the way of danger, shielding his wounded brother or how he would instinctively toss a man overboard if they dared to attempt to lay a hand on his sister. Roy admired that loyalty, that familiar bond. He had been disowned by his own family when he was very young and the ocean was a vast and lonely place for a solitary creature. 

While Roy did not know if those were the reasons why he had fallen in love with Jay, Roy chose to believe that the true reason was because of the pirate’s sorrow. Jay hid it well, Roy never saw a drop of sorrow in the man when his family was around or when he was viciously fighting his way through a battle, but when night came and the silver moon reflected its light upon dark, mesmerising waters, when the stars stared down at the world like thousands of twinkling eyes, when the wind slowed its tempo to a gentle dance, skimming its icy fingers through Jay’s hair as he stands leaned over the side of the boat, gazing at the murky depths below, that is when Roy would see the pirates sorrow. It’s a strange and rare thing to see. Humanity has proven to Roy that it will do anything to survive, it will kill its own, it will kill those whose only crime is being different to them, it will fight tooth and nail to live, and when you’re a creature told to hunt, lure, trick, prey on humanity it is very rare to ever see a human display anything as gentle and delicate as sorrow. To see that on a human so openly, so _raw_ every night and just understanding every weeping thought reflected in his stormy eyes, well, how could Roy not love him? The pirate was a kindred spirit. Angry and beautiful and broken. Just like Roy.

It had been nighttime when the storm hit. Roy had been keeping a close eye on the ship, they had had a couple of brutal run-ins with some less than friendly foes, it had been bloody and not everyone had made it but Jay was okay, Roy would always make sure Jay was okay. 

Jay was staring down at the water, would have been staring straight into Roy’s glowing sea-green eyes had it not been for the dark, comforting blanket of the ocean obscuring him from view. It had hit out of nowhere. The storm. Roy had always loved storms, they made him feel safe, made him feel as though the sea understood him; chaotic and vengeful on the surface, but calm and welcoming far below. Roy loved storms, he was invincible in them, he was built to thrive in all moods of his temperamental friend. The sea harboured many lives and would end them at the flick of a fin. Thick scales helped his body balance the seas ever changing temperatures, a powerful tail and elegant fins helped him glide through the water at unbeatable speeds, unimaginable strength allowed him to stand his ground against roaring winds and beastly waves, pretty copper locks and a welcoming smile helped protect him against men who wished to hurt him, hypnotising songs gave him food so he would never starve. He was made by the ocean, made to be at home in it; humans were not. No man, no matter how strong, could withstand the sea’s angry breaths, no man could withstand the sea’s deranged waves no matter how brave, no ship could survive the undiluted wrath of the ocean.

Cackling winds and vengeful waves had cut through the nightly peace in the blink of an eye. The previously scarce and silent deck was filled with yelled orders and hurrying crew. Looming waves rose, dwarfing the ship, only to crash upon its deck, causing the crew to scramble for something to help them hold their ground. The sea's ferocious hands rocked the boat, dipping it almost playfully. The onslaught continued, waves invading the ship, wind attacking from all sides, rain pummelling down from the heavens. Roy stared onwards in morbid curiosity; he had grown to care for those who lived on the ship, he had been silently protecting them for long enough to grow attached. And yet… It had been so long since such a glorious storm had hit. There was something mesmerizing about watching the sea hunt, watching it rage, watching it come alive! Another wave slammed into the boat, then another. And another. Howling winds become angrier, more determined. The sea pushed and pulled at the ship causing it to rock faster, dipping further down each time. Forwards, backwards. Forwards, backwards. Booming thunder drowned out the sound of a cracking mast. The wind clawed at the sails, tearing it in two, carrying a piece off into the abyss. Forwards, backwards. Men could be heard yelling even over the sea's screams. Forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards. The broken mask caved to the abuse, plummeting downwards. Men ran in all directions, desperate to get out of the way. By some blessing or another, most managed to avoid being sent overboard. Everyone was safe, everyone except… 

_Jay._

Roy was moving before the sea had even fully embraced Jay, his powerful tail propelling him forwards, the choppy waves doing nothing to slow his movements. Darkened skies and flashing lightning made his flaming red tail look murderous. Colour was sacred for merfolk, a colour was meant to reflect their soul, their essence. Roy was red in every way. Red for passion, red for blood, red for rage, red for heart. He loved hard but fleetingly and yet ached to be loved in return. He raged harder. The sea would not take his pirate. Not Jay. Not yet. 

Pointed claws sank into Jay’s tender flesh. The man was unconscious; serene and peaceful. A halo of blood circled his heads and more came from various gashes and injuries, staining the waters. Red, so much red. It blinded Roy. He was holding his pirate, the one he had quietly watched over for years, the one he had ruthlessly sunk ships for, he was in Roy’s arms, pulled flush against his patterned chest. Roy needed to get him to safety. He hesitated for a mere moment, the sheer awe that consumed him at being so close to a human, to a pirate, to _Jay_ , the way he could revel in how warm Jay was in a way so different to the ocean. Warmth meant life and that would quickly fade if Roy didn’t get Jay to the surface and then to shore.  
He was a blur of flaming red, the sea pushing him forwards, the waves cautious and careful of them when the pair broke the surface. Roy took a single gasp of air, always a jarring difference to breathing in the water, before speeding off towards land, sparing an anxious glance at the slowly sinking ship being swallowed behind him. There was nothing more he could do, the sea had claimed what it believed was it’s right, it would honour the lives it took, treasuring their lifeless bodies in its murky depths forever more.

At least there would be one survivor.

Roy had never been fond of going on land; it was possible, merfolk could breath out of water just fine and their strength allowed them to pull their bodies along with ease, but… it wasn’t freeing like water was. Roy felt restricted on land, felt trapped— a powerful creature like him was not meant to feel vulnerable. It had been a long time since he had felt hot sand beneath his webbed hands, felt it stick to his scales. It had been a long time since he had used his muscular arms for anything but swimming. He made quick work of dragging Jay ashore, gently laying him down a good distance from the depths of the sea, the tide only just reaching the tips of Jay’s boots. Roy found himself staring at the unconscious man. His dark hair was matted from both the sea and blood. He had a large gash on his head that was still slightly bleeding. 

How fragile humans were. Merfolk’s skin was thick and strong, it took a lot to injure them, to see a mer bleed was so rare. Humans had such delicate skin. Roy carefully ran his fingers across the wound, felt the sticky substance under his fingers, surprised at how warm it was. The wound was deep and Roy knew that was bad. The weather here was calming, the skies no longer wept and the winds no longer screamed, but it was still dark, the sky filled with grey-tinged, silver-lined clouds.

No one was there to help. Roy knew what he had to do.

With great care, Roy lowered his face until he was almost nose-to-nose with Jay, his hands planted on the sand either side of Jay’s handsome face. Strands of his ginger hair brushed against Jay’s scarred cheeks. Jagged breaths tickled Roy’s face as they escaped Jay’s cracked parted lips. Roy closed his eyes and began to cry. Tears elegantly fell from his eyes, dripping off his pale eyelashes and splashing onto Jay’s face. The pirates skin glowed where the tears landed, the light streaking across his face like lightning, some heading up towards his head wound and others trailing down below his collar where other various injuries hid. Roy had never seen the healing process before; it was something he had learnt about when he was young but he had never really understood why they had that ability. They were taught to kill humans, hunt them, so why had the sea gifted them with the ability to heal them? Why connect them to people in such an intimate way? Slowly the amber glow faded leaving behind silvery streaks where open wounds had been. Jay looked so full of life, his tanned-skin looked healthy and radiant where before it had been pale and ghostly, the new scar on his forehead starkly standing out in its paleness. Roy's face was still mere centimetres away from the pirates when his eyes snapped open. 

_**~~~** _

Jason was sure he had died. He remembered falling, remembered icy water surrounding him, gripping him, dragging him downwards. He remembered a dark blankness washing over him and then nothingness. Next thing he knew he was laying on some random beach, staring up into unnaturally glowing green eyes. The man who belonged to the glowing green eyes pulled back quickly, looking alarmed to see Jason awake. Confused and groggy, Jason stayed where he was, looking up at the strange man. There was something a little off about his face, something a little peculiar. After a solid minute of the pair just staring at each other, the man with a look that was something in between fear and uncertainty and Jason with one of just pure confusement, a smile spread across the man's freckled face revealing rows of pointed needle-like teeth. Oh Fuck. Jason glanced to the side, noting the strong arms planted either side of him, trapping him and the giant… Oh double fuck! The giant flaming red tail that was where the man's legs should have been. A fucking merman was staring down at him. Perfect, first he almost drowns and now he was about to be eaten alive by an (admittedly hot as hell) merman. No thank you, not today. Before the merman could get any closer Jason swung a heavy fist at the merman’s face. Jason had knocked out many, many men with a single punch in his lifetime, had shattered teeth and broken bones when pushed to it. So when Jason’s fist connected with the merman’s still smiling face he had expected to knock the creature flat. That was most definitely not what happened. It felt like he had punched a marble statue, a really sexy, dangerous statue. The sound of his fingers breaking echoed in the evening's quiet. The merman was no longer smiling; Jason was going to die.

“Seriously?” The merman asked, pulling even further away from Jason in what appeared to be surprise and… offence?

Jason wasn’t sure of how to reply to that, he had kinda expected the creature to kill him immediately but it- he didn’t even look angry, more… annoyed?

“I’ve just healed you and then you go and hurt yourself again? Do you know how inconvenient that is?”

“Well forgive me for trying to avoid getting eaten alive!” 

What the fuck was going on?

“Eaten?” The creature looked confused. A brief expression of realisation dawned on his face before succinctly being replaced with a scowl. “You thought I was going to eat you? I saved you! I’ve saved you many times! You would have drowned.”

Oh triple fuck. What the actual fuck? 

“You saved me?” None of this made any sense. Jason had grown up hearing stories of the viciousness of merfolks, of their savage, seductive ways. How they’d lure whole crews to their deaths with nothing but an ancient song and a pretty smile. He had spent so many nights terrifying Tim and Damian when they were little with tales of pirates being torn to shreds by merfolk after getting lost at sea. Bruce and Dick had not been impressed when the pair had had nightmares for nearly a month afterwards to say the least. Yet the merman said he saved Jason and considering Jason remembered falling off the ship but clearly hadn’t drowned that did seem like the only explanation. The merman had saved him. 

The merman had moved so he was no longer trapping Jason with his arms and was instead kneeling (could it be counted as kneeling if merfolk didn’t technically have knees?) beside him. Jason pushed himself up into a sitting position, being careful not to put too much pressure on his injured hand. The merman was certainly magnificent; the tales had definitely not been exaggerating merfolk’s beauty. He had pale, almost silver skin that was splattered with freckles, even his tale had freckles of a sort, the vibrant red covered in flecks of sparkling gold. His copper hair had small plaits and tiny gems entwined in it. There was something unnatural about his face, he was handsome, that could not be denied, but perhaps he was too handsome. As if everything about his face was meant to be pleasing to Jason and Jason’s brain knew that and therefore was sent into a mode of caution. His body screamed “powerful!” and now Jason was looking at him properly he was wondering how stupid he was to think punching this being was a good idea.

“You’re staring”

Damn right he was staring, who wouldn’t be?

“Sorry, um, so you’re definitely not going to eat me?”

“Well are you going to run me through with your sword?”

Was- was the merman _sassing_ him? Jason didn't even have his sword!

“Well for starters I don’t even have my sword. Or my gun for that matter. Secondly, I’m pretty sure stabbing you would do more harm to the sword than anything else.” It was perhaps foolish to attempt banter with a merman, but Jason wasn’t dead yet so that counted for something. 

The merman laughed. He actually laughed. It was a melodic sound, most certainly not a human sound by a long shot and for a moment Jason found himself hypnotised by it. Everything in his body relaxed, all his worries about being eaten vanished, any concerns for his family were gone, the pain from his broken fingers: irrelevant. Nothing bad could happen while the merman was making that noise, the world was at peace and Jason was safe beneath the stars. He just needed to be closer to the merman, needed to touch him…

“I thought you weren’t going to eat me!” It had taken nearly all of Jason’s willpower to break free of his trance-like state. He was well versed in merfolk’s powers of allurement.

“I’m not! Healing you would have been completely aimless if I was just going to kill you afterwards.”

“Then why’d you do that thing?” Jason exclaimed.

“What thing?”

“The thing with your laugh?”

The merman was looking at Jason as if he’d sprouted a second head and considering _he_ was the one who was part fish. Well enough said. “The hypnotising shtick. Or whatever it was.” 

A look of realisation passed across the merman's face before he started to laugh again, this time the effects a lot less prominent than before.

“I can’t help it. It’s not my fault you’re attracted to me.”

Ex- _fucking_ -cuse me? 

“What?” Just because the merman was right about Jason finding him attractive did not mean he deserved to be called out like this. “I don’t even know you!” Jason said, defensively. 

“Merfolk’s power comes from humans' attraction to us. If people weren’t attracted to us our powers wouldn’t have half the effect they have.”

“Yeah, well, whatever.” Jason grumbled, eloquently.

“And as for not knowing me: I’m Roy.” The merman- Roy- smiled at Jason and Jason had to admit that he was quickly becoming fond of the merman, there was something familiar about him, as if he had seen him before. And maybe he had; Roy had mentioned he had saved Jason multiple times before, it seemed reasonable to assume Jason had caught sight of Roy or his bright red tail at the very least.

“I’m Jason.”

“Your father calls you Jay.” Roy looked puzzled.

“Yeah, I guess. It’s a nickname.” Jason felt like he should be weirded out by the fact Roy had been around him enough to know that the ship’s captain was his father and what his dad called him and yet he wasn’t. He felt quite at ease with Roy. Well at least now that they’d established no one was going to get eaten. “So you saved me from the storm? Must’ve been difficult, that storm was the worst I've seen in years.”

  
Roy shrugged nonchalantly, giving Jason a small, sheepish smile.

“I’m made for the sea, you’re not. It’s my home and friend. The sea is often angry at pirates, it is never angry at the merfolk.”

“What did we ever do to piss off the sea so much? Jason asked. The way Roy spoke about the ocean made it sound like a jilted beast. Jason had always been taught to fear the sea, to sail upon it was an act of great bravery, it was wild and merciless and cared not for those it harboured. He had been taught similar things about merfolk; they were evil and ruthless, savage creatures designed to kill. He saw now that he had been taught wrong. Roy was not evil, he was far from it.

“There are many stories told by the merfolk as to why the sea hates humans. Many boil down to being disrespectful and harming the sea's children. Especially the merfolk.” Roy explained, a wistful look resting on his face.

“Yeah that seems about right. I know I’ve seen humanity’s dark side.” He offered Roy a small smile. Jason had grown up alone, his mother had been taken from him by opium when he was very little and his father had been a brute that quickly got himself killed not long after. He spent most of his childhood running away from cruel men who wanted to use and abuse him. That was until he had gotten lucky, had chosen the right ship to stowaway in, Bruce’s ship. Scrawny and malnourished, he had been terrified when he had been dragged from his hiding space and presented to the captain. But Bruce was a good man or as good a man a pirate captain can be. Bruce had welcomed him aboard, fed him, trained him and eventually Jason became the second mate, his older brother Dick being the first. Jason hoped his family was okay. Hoped the storm had taken no one else.

“Not all of humanity is bad. Your family is good. You are good.” Roy spoke softly, looking away from Jason, almost shy.

“I don’t think pirates can be considered ‘good’ so to say. I’m not good.” Jason replied, bitterly. He wasn’t good, had killed too many people, he was too violent— even Bruce said he was too violent.

“From what I’ve seen, you are. You’re fierce and loyal, you defend your family no matter the risk to yourself, you are good,” Roy argued, determination clear in his voice, the merman was not backing down.

Jason didn’t like talking about this, he had spent many a night staring into the infinite waters below wondering about his morality, questioning where he was going after he died. He wasn’t a God-fearing man by any means, Jason didn’t believe any God of this universe deserved to be worshipped with the amount of suffering it held. But eternal damnation wasn’t something people jumped at the chance to experience.

A silence settled between the pair, not incredibly uncomfortable but still too tense for Jason’s liking.

“I thought merfolk travelled in packs or whatever you call it, groups. I didn’t think they travelled alone, safety in numbers. Yet here you are, alone and talking to a pirate.”

Roy’s entire body language shifted, Jason wasn’t sure what exactly had changed but he seemed closed off. Tense. Looked more withdrawn, the red of his tail duller, golden specks barely there. Jason needed to learn to keep his mouth shut. Roy was silent for a while before he answered.

“I guess I’m just strange.”

“Well that makes two of us.” Jason offered a wry smile, tone more bitter than he meant for it to be.

Streaks of yellow and pink were beginning to paint the sky, the sun steadily rising over the horizon making the water glimmer. Morning was coming.

“I have to go. Suns almost up, people will be about. You should head towards town, find somewhere to stay.” Roy was looking more and more uneasy as the sun rose inch by inch. It was strange, Jason thought, Roy was one of the most powerful creatures to grace the earth yet fear was so obviously struck in him at the idea of being exposed to humans. Jason had always known humanity was rotten to the core.

“Right. Yeah should probably get my hand looked at too. Sorry about that. Punching you that is.”

Roy laughed, that made three times Jason had made that beautiful sound ring out, made him feel warm inside. Odd. Jason stood up, taking in his surroundings, it was much lighter now and Jason could make out a town not far from the beach, it wouldn't take too long to walk to. Roy turned to go, scales sparkling in the morning light. When Roy reached the water he turned back, offering Jason a little wave and a smile and Jason couldn’t let him go without asking:

“Will I see you again? Can I see you again.” He felt vulnerable and childish asking. Why would anyone, let alone someone who could travel the entire ocean come back for him? Yet when Jason looked at Roy his smile had only grown.

“Tomorrow night, I’ll be here.”

And then he was gone.

Jason spent the day finding a place to stay and some supplies. He managed to find an inn that was willing to house him as long as he did work for them in repayment. The innkeeper's wife had even been kind enough to wrap his hand. By the time night fell he was exhausted. He slept fitfully, images of snarling teeth and roaring waves haunting his dreams.

The following night Jason headed down to the beach where Roy had dragged him ashore. Hours went by, the wind turning cold and the sky a hazy blue. Jason was beginning to think Roy wasn’t coming when he spotted a flash of red gliding through the water. It was like he materialised out of nowhere, one moment Jason could only see a dot of colour, the next moment Roy was waving at him from the shallower waters. Jason didn’t want Roy to have to leave the water and drag himself up the beach like last time so he waded through the water and pulled himself up onto a rock that was high enough above sea level.

“You’re here.”

“I told you I would be.”

The pair spent the night talking about whatever crossed their minds, Jason recounted his day in the town and how he was working at the inn and Roy told him about the ocean and it’s creatures. It was the most peaceful Jason had been in a long time; he was so used to spending his nights alone and wallowing in doubt and misery, this was a nice change. Roy was a nice change. Just like two nights ago when the sun began to rise Roy said his goodbyes with a promise to return the following night. Jason watched him go, content and happy— a rare feeling for him.

They went on like this for weeks. Roy would appear around midnight and then they’d talk and talk and talk. Sometimes Roy would bring trinkets he had made out of odd bits and pieces and would proudly show them off to Jason. After the first time, Jason had taken to bringing Roy different materials in return to use . Whenever Jason had any spare money lying around he would bring a couple of beers for the pair to share. Roy had been unsure about the stuff at first but quickly took to it— Jason was convinced he was the only person in the world to see a tipsy merman. They would talk about everything and nothing, Jason recounting tales of him and his brothers, Roy describing all the places he had travelled.

Jason trusted Roy.

Trusted Roy enough to tell him about his childhood, about his father, his mother. And it seemed Roy trusted Jason too. So one night when Jason couldn’t keep the misery and sorrow at bay he told Roy about his father's drinking and his mother’s addiction. Told Roy about how he learnt to take a beating, learnt how to hide, how to fight back. And Roy had listened to everything Jason said with no judgment. It had been so long since he’d talked so freely about himself and who would have thought it would have been to a merman? The following night Roy gave Jason one of his trinkets; a sculpture of a pirate ship made of scraps of metal. (It quickly became Jason’s most treasured possession— not that he was willing to admit it). With fear in his eyes, Roy had told Jason about his own past. About how his father had died when he was young, how the merman that had taken him in and raised him had died only a few years later. Told him with a bitter tone and dead eyes how the next merman had been wild and powerful, he had been a good man but a bad father and when Roy was consumed by his loneliness and dark misery, when he had fallen into bad habits, the man had turned him out, leaving Roy to destroy himself.

“He was a bastard,” Jason declared.

“He did his best,” Roy replied, and from the look in his eyes Jason could tell he fully believed that, “and anyway, if I had never left I never would have met you.”

It was a week later Jason had realised he was in love with Roy. There wasn’t some pivotal moment that made Jason realise. It had been an ordinary night and Roy was passionately talking about one of his creations, telling Jason about how difficult this one had been to get working and Jason had only been half listening, distracted by Roy’s smile when it had dawned on him. He loved Roy. He was _in_ love with Roy. And well his mouth had never been good at waiting for his brain.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

That had not been what he had meant to say. _Smooth Jason, real smooth._

Roy had stopped talking abruptly, cut off mid-sentence. And Jason, Jason was _scared_. Because Roy was everything to him and if his big mouth had just destroyed everything he wouldn’t be able to live with himself.

“You love me?” Roy was staring up into his eyes, something raw and trusting in his eyes.

And Jason couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe. Because looking into Roy’s eyes Jason knew without any doubt that Roy loved him back. Words had escaped him, so he simply leant down and…

He kissed him.

And everything was okay.

After that everything and nothing changed. Their dynamic was much the same, the trust was still there, the banter and teasing was still there, Jason still brought Roy materials and Roy still showed him his creations. But at the end of the night they shared gentle kisses and loving goodbyes. Jason found he quite liked the change. He wished for things to be this way forever.

The world never cared what Jason wanted.

It had been stormy all day the day things had gone to shit. Jason had been worried he wouldn’t be able to see Roy but luck was on his side and the storm had eased by the time night fell. Peaceful rain still fell and the air was sharp and chilly but Jason didn’t mind. Being cold and wet was nothing new to Jason. Sorrow and misery had clung to him all day, like how his wet clothes stuck to him as he sat listening to Roy talk.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on Jaybird, don’t lie to me.”

“Just thinking about my family. I-I miss them. I’ve been thinking,” Jason took a deep breath, staring out into the ocean,” I’ve been thinking about trying to find them, I’ve got enough money and it’ll be easy enough to steal a ship.”

Guilt had often consumed Jason when it came to his family. He should have looked for them sooner, they probably thought he was dead, were probably out there grieving a brother and son. And what had Jason been doing? He’d been living his life as if nothing was wrong, had found a job, fallen in love. Selfish.

Roy was uncharacteristically quiet. For a moment Jason wondered if Roy thought he was going to leave him behind. Go off and find his family and abandon Roy like everyone else he had ever loved.

“Jason I have to tell you something.” Jason tore his eyes away from the ocean to look at Roy. He looked terrified. Looked like a ghost; pale and haunted. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seemingly struggling to find the right words. “They’re dead Jason.”

What?

“What?” Jason felt like he was drowning, all the air had been stolen from his lungs, the rain falling on his skin burned, the wind a distant ringing in his ears.

“I went back. That night. The night I saved you, I went back, the ship had been sinking when I had rescued you but I wanted to check if anyone had survived. I found their bodies, Jay. Your father, your siblings, the crew, everyone— all dead at the bottom of the sea in the wreckage of the ship,” His voice kept cracking and some faraway part of Jason noticed Roy was crying, was completely distraught by what he was telling Jason. “I wanted to tell you, I did Jay, really I did. I, I just didn’t know how. I’m sorry. I- you were so happy, making a new life for yourself and I didn’t want to ruin that. And you deserved to know, I should have told you, I’m so sorry Jay, please, please believe me when I say that. I’m so, so sorry.”

_What?_

“You’re sorry?” Jason barely noticed himself shutting down, barely noticed the way he shook, not from cold but from rage. Barely noticed how fast his heart was beating in his chest, how his blood boiled beneath his skin, how his breathing was wild and uncontrolled. He noticed the red though. Dark, rich red so different from Roy’s bright and beautiful. It clouded his vision, smothered his sense, blocked off anything that wasn’t fierce, unstoppable rage. “You didn’t tell me my family died and you’re sorry? Is that all Roy? That’s all you’ve got to say? And why? Because you were fucking protecting my happiness? I can’t believe you. You’re a fucking coward Roy, no wonder everyone leaves you”

Jason knew deep down that that wasn’t fair but he had never been good at admitting when he was wrong so instead of offering an apology, instead of talking, instead of figuring this whole thing out, he left. And he didn’t look back no matter how many times Roy called his name. 

The rain kept falling.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on my Tumblr [@arevolutionapproaches](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/arevolutionapproaches)


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